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[01 Sep 2004|05:53pm] |
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mood |
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im going out of town again!! yup... im gonna be up in massachusetts the end of this month. one of my aunts finally got married about 2 weeks ago and the newlywed celebration thingy is september 25th. so me, meghan, and my mom are gonna be leaving that friday afternoon, hopefully we'll get up there at a decent time friday night, then coming back home sunday night. i cant wait. i wanna see everyone soooo bad. its been almost a year. woooohoo!! mini vacation/road trip for me!! lol :D better believe im bringing my camera too ;)
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[27 Aug 2004|06:40pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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operation ivy {sound system} |
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err.. im hungry. meghan spent the night over ivory's so me and mom are about to go get primo's. mmm.. i havent eaten anything all day. i forgot to mention in the last entry that i made money last weekend, finally. lol. herb paid me and my mom to paint like 4 rooms in his house over in great bridge. it was pretty easy. now all we have to do is some of the trim around the outside. we'll probably go do that tomorrow. im getting a new phone!! a nice one too. im sick of this little out-of-date, piece of shit i have now. lol. anyway... it seems like some people are made at me... for reasons i cant control. im not PURPOSELY trying to avoid anybody, in fact i actually have a lot of stuff that i need to talk about with some people. im wayy over-stressed right now. its hard for me to focus on taling or hanging out with people when im trying to do 10 things at once (ie. getting my license, trying to find a job, trying to figure out what college classes i wanna take, trying to find a place to live, pack, etc., etc.). just give me some time people. k? thx
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[27 Aug 2004|03:29am] |
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time to update again. it feels soo good not having to go back to school. i remember ever summer for the past 12 years has been like "ughh...2 more weeks" and i hated watching tv cus all the commercials mentioned something about back to school. lol. i saw the booker t. graduation on tv wednesday and decided to record it seeings how it was my class and i wasnt there. OMG.. i was PISSED by the time it was over. i saw one boy up there, he was in geometry with me 1st bell. he NEVER came to school and if he did, he was always hungover or high. i mean, he missed almost 3 months STRAIGHT! from around the time i left for kathy's funeral (oct. 21st-ish) and came back right before first semester was over (mid jan.) just to kiss the teachers ass so she would pass him. yet, i was one of the only 4 people out of 25 that passed the final exam. oh.. then she said it was cus i missed 12 days from when i left for kathy's funeral and when i got the flu twice and i forgot to get then waved. but still... can you believe they actually gave him a fucking diploma??!! WTF.. he can get one but i cant?? hahaha. i hate that school. i told my mom that i was glad i didnt graduate from there. i feel better having a GED than a diploma with "Booker T. Washington" on it. i know im going places and i dont want nothing to do with booker t. anymore.
anywho.. meghan is in a whole lotta drama again. she was over ivory's house wednesday night and his psycho ex girlfriend and her friend came over and started talkin shit, so ivory shut the door in their faces and they were out there threatning her so she called the cops. she might end up putting a restraining order up against her.
speaking of ivory and all that... meghan and him are trying to hook me up with his friend/roommate. BUT... i dont think nothing is ever gonna really come of it. i asked him how old he was when we were talking and he said he just turned 27... eee... haha. maybe we'll just be friends but i doubt anything else. =/
i dont think im gonna go to the luau this year. im not all that amped about going. if i was, i would've gotten my ticket 2 months ago. i havent even heard from jason yet either so... i dunno...
okay im done now... leave damnit
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[14 Aug 2004|10:33pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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beastie boys {ch-check it out} |
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ugh...this hurricane sucks. im so lonely right now. meghan is spending the weekend with ivory in a hotel over in hookerville OV. my street is flooded. its hard to tell its a street, it looks like a river. i wanna go swim in it. if its still there tomorrow, i probably will. im trapped in this hellhole for the rest of the weekend. i need to get out of this house so bad. i don't mean get out for a NIGHT, i mean FOR GOOD. seriously...this house is really making me go under this depression phase, like the 5th one in the past year. i cry a lot, sometimes i don't even know why. i barely eat anymore and i feel like i never sleep. it sucks. =(
summer is almost over. im actually kinda glad that it is. i wish it would've been what i expected, but thats just the way my life is. it seems like everytime i feel like everything is going okay, something goes wrong and it screws everything up, then it starts over and over again. its a never ending roller coaster. ugh... wtf am i talking about? oh well, its my journal, if you dont understand it, too bad. lol
time for me to go cry somemore and what not..
bye for now
oh yeah, im still walking like a "special" kid and people keep laughing at me. *cry*
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[13 Aug 2004|12:09pm] |
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okay...time for me to write another long entry. the last time i updated, other than when i wrote about the concert, was the night before my birthday, so im gonna start off with my birthday. i woke up that morning and found 2 bags on the stove, one for me and one for mom. inside was a little glass thing that had a "sister" poem engraved in it, and a gift certificate for a head-to-toe body massage. ahh...yes, thats just what i could go for right now too. lol. anyways, the night before my dad gave me $100 and my mom came home and gave me $160. holy shit.. i have 360 bucks on me right now. lol. then the next day was my mom's 40th birthday. DAMN!! haha.. yeah shes getting old. me, her, and meghan went shopping and got coldstones that night.
i didnt go to to the warped tour this year cus i heard it sucked major donkey balls. lol. just like i expected. it wasnt even in the parking lot and i think 2 of the stages got cut. GAY!! im glad i didnt go, i would've protested or something. lol
mikey is no longer a teenager. he turned 20 on the 5th. i got the most random email from him the other day. it was actually a few days after my birthday. he said he misses talking to me and that me and him can still go out to dinner and a movie again, if i want, seeings how we never got to it. awwh... thats so sweet of him. =)
me and meghan were talking the other day about her 21st birthday, coming up in less than 2 months. she wants to have a hotel party on the beach, something we've been wanting to do for like 3 years now, but somehow it NEVER happens!! lol. she was listing all the people she wanted to come and what kind of alcohol and stuff she wanted there, and *light bulb* i came up with the brilliant idea to rent a beach house for the weekend, that way we dont have to worry about being "too loud" and getting kicked out and stuff. if it does happen, it'll be oct. 8-10, the weekend after her b-day (october 4th). yay!! hopefully it'll work out.
umm...thats all for now.
i thought there would be more, but i guess i forgot some stuff..
i'll update when i remember... lol
my computer(laptop) battery is about to die again.
WTF? brandon is STILL sleeping?? lol. i thought I was the lazy ass. im gonna call him and wake his lazy ass up...
bye
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[12 Aug 2004|02:53pm] |
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linkin park {one step closer} |
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wow... i had a GREAT night last night, for sure. so much fun. me and meghan got to the amphitheater around 3:45 and we walked over to the side stage and watched ghostface for a lil bit, then at about 4:20 we walked over to the main stage and less than jake had just got on. they were pretty good, even though they only played about 4 songs, and neither of them were the ones i wanted to hear. lol. then after they were done, the DJ stopped the music and was like "i heard today that down on the beach here, you can't use profanity. WTF?? c'mon va beach!! what kind of shit is that?" haha.. then he made us scream "FUUUUCK!!!" as loud as we all could. it was funny. shortly after that, the used came on. they weren't as great as they were the other times i've seen them. i didnt hear the 2 songs i wanted to hear, "buried myself alive" and "a box of sharp objects". the best part was when bert made us do a wave with our middle fingers. he made the lawn start it off, then we ended it (the orchestra section). while they were playing i was sending brandon about 500 million text messages to find out if he was there yet. lol. he was standing right in front of me and i couldnt see him. my retarded ass. haha... anyway.. snoop dogg came on next. he was pretty good. it felt really weird cus i've being seeing him on tv and stuff since i was like 5, and that was my first time seeing him in real life, only about 20 feet away from him. lol. korn came on next. the crowd was really hyped by that time. 2 guys started fist fighting right in front of me. the whole time we were standing there, there was this guy and his sister in front of us. at first i was like "man, this guy is crazy" cus he was all hyper and shit. then when all the good songs came on he would turn around and be screaming the words in my face and i started screaming them back at him. then i started jumping around with him and getting roudy and shit. lol. then i started thinking "hey, he is pretty damn cool!!" i like being around people like that at concerts. i had some boring ass people to the left of me that kept giving me dirty "ugh!!" looks whenever i started singing the songs. oh well... why the fuck do you get tix to a rock concert if you dont want anybody to bump into you?? doesnt make any fucking sense if you ask me... anyways, linkin park came on around 9:20 and played for like 2 hours. a few people told me before the concert that linkin park sucks in concert. sorry, but i have to disagree with that. they were good. they were probably one of the best i've seen so far, in the top 5 at least. after the whole thing was over, the lights came on and everyone started leaving, but we stayed there and talked to that guy, jason, that was in front of us with his sister. he asked us if we were going to the luau and if we wanted to go with him. so i gave him my number, and he gave me his and i might go with him, depending on how things work out. he told me hes 24, has 2 kids, and married (his wife's name is melissa too!! lol). he said shes pretty cool and she wont mind cus shes more into rap/hip-hop stuff and hes more into rock, so i guess thats good. i dont wanna be a homewrecker or anything. lol. he'll just be like my "concert buddy" lol. i saw brandon, my little bitch at the end too!! anyway, im sore as FUCK now!! omg... i could barely walk last night when we were walking out to the car and i practically crawled from the driveway up to my house when we got home last night. lmao. my dad thought we were drunk or something cus me and meghan came in all stumbling and giggling. hahaha... it was even worse trying to get out of bed this morning. ugh...
well this entry is pretty long so i guess i'll stfu for now
i'll update later cus there is still more i wanted to put in here
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[11 Aug 2004|11:27am] |
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mood |
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music |
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linkin park {breaking the habit} |
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the day is finally here!!! linkin park/korn/the used/LTJ tonight!! i've been waiting since march for this. im gonna be up in the orchestra pit sweating my ass off and getting my eardrums blown out for about 7 hours. lol. im getting ready now. meghan is gettting off work at 12 and shes gonna come home and shower and get ready and stuff, then we are gonna get lunch at sonic around 2 or something, then drive out there. i cant wait. tonight is gonna be the greatest, i hope. hopefully i wont get trampled like i almost did last time i saw the used. damn drunk people piss me off. lol. well time for my to finish getting dressed and stuff. i'll update tomorrow, or maybe tonight, depending on how tired i am. it'll be a LONG entry cus i have a lot i wanna out in here. goodnight
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[11 Aug 2004|02:16am] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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music |
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family guy on tv |
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yay!! new background/picture/colors!! im still not finished with it so excuse the ugliness. i never write in this thing anymore. i'll update tomorrow or something...
night
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[28 Jul 2004|11:56pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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yay!! my last 4 minutes of being a minor. lol. and so my adult life begins... ugh.. now that im officially considered an "adult" i wish i wasnt. lol. i know it sounds stupid, but i kinda wish i didnt grow up so fast. i know i still have the rest of my life ahead of me, but i just miss the days when i was younger and less complicated. i wish i could rewind time and live the past 18 years over again. either way, i dont feel like im getting older. if anything, i still feel like im 13...and look like it too. lol. its okay though. at least when im 30, i'll look like im still in my early twenties and all these 14 year old girls that everyone says "she looks like she could be about 20 something, but she is only 14..huh?" is gonna look 40 when shes 30. lol. its true. the aging process never stops, so i dont get pissed off when people tell me i look 13. it'll pay off in time. ;) anywho, meghan said she got me and my mom a present that costs $330 all together. im dying to know what it is. im talking to my beastly scary man bitch right now. =) his re-re phone keeps hanging up on me. lol. errgg... i havent talked to him in like a month, since i was in new york actually. it doesnt seem like i was new york only a month ago. where is this summer going to? its going by way too fast, faster than what i planned. okay then, i think im gonna get some ice cream, finish talking to him, and go to sleep in a few. goodnight people.
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[25 Jul 2004|02:31pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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everclear {wonderful} |
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*sigh*
life really sucks when your father doesnt even know what day you were born and your mother puts you in the middle of all the family problems. i love being the unwanted daughter, sister, friend, etc. uhh.. not really... but i've gotten used to it.
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[23 Jul 2004|08:22pm] |
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mood |
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i think im gonna start writing in this thing again. ugh... will i ever make up my mind? lol. i havent blogged anything since...forever. im not sure about what i should put in here right now except that my b-day is less than one week away (the 29th) and i'll be 18. i dont think im gonna have that hotel party that i planned a few months ago. i still havent moved yet, but we're looking everywhere for a house. if anybody knows a house that is for rent in the virginia beach/norfolk/chesapeake area that is under 1300 a month, let me know. lol. oh yeah, i now have a second cousin!! yay!! my cousin dominic and his girlfriend had their baby last week (the 15th). thats exactly 2 weeks before my birthday!! hehe.. anyways, her name is lacie jade bertolasio (i dunno if i spelled it right) and she only weighed a little bit over 4 pounds cus she was early. i cant wait to see her though. thats all for now...
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[23 Jul 2004|05:21pm] |
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HAHAHA
it really cracks me up when "mature" people have nothing to do than to start drama over the internet. then have the nerve to bring people into it that have nothing to do with it. err... i hate fat, ugly, old myspace whores. if you are so over "the jealous games people play" then prove it. stop commenting about the words i use. "who still says the words 'broads'?" i do!! and if you dont like it then stop reading my shit!! why is that so hard?! unlike you, i dont feel the need to research who uses what words and how often they use them. simply because i dont have the time or concern to do so, like you do. get a fucking life and stay out of mine. another thing, if you're gonna try to make somebody feel stupid because of the words they use, maybe the "grammer queen" should look into buying a dictionary first.
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| hey ho! lets go! |
[17 Jun 2004|11:41pm] |
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excited |
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ramones {blitzkrieg bop} |
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i cant wait till tomorrow!! in exactly 24 hours from now, i'll be in nyc!! woo!! ahhh man...all this laundry is killing me. im almost done though. only 1 more load left. then i have to fold most of it and pack it along with all my other shit. ughh...my period picked the perfect day. i hate my body. it loves making me miserable. =( so... because of that, im gonna pack extra pants and underwear. anyway, im waiting for meghan to get home from work so i can do her hair. that'll prolly take me like 2 hours to do and shes not getting home till about 12:30 so i guess i wont be going to sleep early tonight either. i went driving tonight and saw another accident. it was up at five points on my way home. i didnt actually see it while it happen like the last one, thank god, but it must've been like less than a minute after i came up to the light and stopped cus the people were still in the cars and some guy in the mcdonalds parking lot ran over and checked on them. a channello's pizza guy t-boned a mini van. i think the van ran the red light and the channello's guy had the arrow cus i know exactly how that intersection works. i've walked through it for all 3 years of middle school, so.. yeah.. the channello guy's car was fucked up though. his hood was bent in half. thank god i wasnt involved in it. anyways, i guess i should start packing so im not rushing tomorrow and end up forgetting something.
goodnight everyone
p.s. this is gonna be my last entry under this name cus i made another lj account, but im only gonna let certain people read it. so if you wanna be that damn nosey and wish to read it, IM me or email me. i'll have it in my AIM profile for my new screen name.
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[17 Jun 2004|02:03am] |
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mood |
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new york is only 2 days away!! ooo... the anticipation is killing me. i just decided to make this entry public just because i can. haha. i think im going to make another lj account... i dunno. if i do, im not putting the link in here for people to see it. i'll just tell a few people.
i planned on going to sleep early tonight, but that hasnt worked out well. oh well... i just hope im not too tired when were up there walking around the city for 18 hours both days.
i really need to do my 8 loads of laundry before we go. im getting so lazy. my room is buried in all my dirty clothes. lol. i guess thats what i'll be doing all day tomorrow...
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| ok i've decided... |
[11 Jun 2004|02:19am] |
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mood |
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my journal is now....
biaaaatch!!!!!!!!!!
comment to be added. if you dont have a LJ account, get one so i can add you!!
*EDIT: i had to turn my comments off, because im sick of having 10 comments a day from a certain somebody. so change "comment" up there to "email me" my address is on my info page.
part of the reason to do this is based on what happened in the last entry. i want my journal as drama free as possible and this is my only way i could have it that way.
p.s. you bungholes better not joke that picture either!! lol. from left to right: map-map #2 (meghan), map-map #3 (ashley), and map-map #1 (MEEE!!!!) hahahahahaha......
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[10 Jun 2004|04:17am] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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third eye blind {deep inside of you} |
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so im doing the usual...up at 4 am burning cds. lol. thats what happens when you mix my insomia with boredom. oh well... i least i'll be equiped with about 500 cds by the time we leave next weekend. lol. i dont even know why im doing all this. me and meghan, my partner in crime, will prolly just be blasting new kids on the block on meghan blown speakers in attempt to annoy the living fuck outta my mom for the first half of the way there. hahahaha... i'll just bring these just in case she threatens to kick us out of the car in a hick town in the middle of nowhere and make us walk. lol.
well IF i was graduating, yesterday would've been officially my last day of high school. my last day was about 3 weeks ago...may 19th to be exact. hahaha.. the little kiddies are still in till next week. thats funny. i cant believe its over already. this has been by far, the fastest year since my first year of high school. me and brandon were talking about it the other night and its true... it goes by slow until xmas comes around, then flies by. heh. it kinda sucks cus im already starting to get bored. i was complaining to my mom about it last night.
25 days till i get my license!! july 5th baby... i cant wait. its supposed to be july 4th cus i got my permit on october 4th, but is dmv even open july 4th? i dont think they are...its a sunday too. i duuno.. but i hope i didnt forget the stuff on the test. i think im gonna pull out that ancient book that i've had for 4 years, since i took drivers ed in 9th grade and study a little bit. hahaha... im surprised i still have that thing...
i might get a job soon!! seeings how we are all going to the company anniversary cookout saturday, my mom said shes gonna ask pete if i can work in the office filing paperwork and stuff for the project managers. yay!! i feel kinda slow being that my first job in my life is about a month before my 18th b-day. but whatever, i dont care... maybe i wont be a bum anymore. haha.. i stay up every night(early AM) till about 7-9, go to sleep, and wake up around 2 or 3 PM. lol. oh well.. i cant control the fact that i've always been and always be an insomiac. im starting to think its not that anymore though. more like nocturnal...ism? is that even a word? anyways, i dont feel bad with my sleeping habits right now. i needed this. its really clearing my head. well i cant really say that right now cus my head wont be 100% clear and thinking straight until we move, but its helping me out a little bit. in these past 3 weeks, i dropped about 8 million loads of stress that i've been carrying on my back for the past 10 months...even though some people REALLY arent helping me!! errgg... please dont bring anymore drama in my life. it'll be greatly appreciated. thank you.
i found these duplexes in va beach, right off of lynnhaven and 264. 3 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths for only $850 a month. i say thats pretty damn good for a 3 bedroom in va beach, and its not even an apartment, more like a small house with a driveway and fenced yard and everything. pets are allowed too. ;) i wanna get a dog so bad but my mom already said she doesnt know if she wants any when we move. i dunno why. i mean, me and meghan wanna get a little dog, like a yorkshire terrior or a maltese. that cant be that much out of our league. my mom seems to think we want a big dog...like a black lab or something, one that unleashes some heavy duty shits and thats gonna need a lot of training. in this case, it wont be that bad. it'll shit little turds and if we end up getting that duplex place, it has a fenced in yard. personally, me and meghan are sick of big dogs. oh well... if my mom still doesnt let us get one after we move, i told meghan that we are just gonna get one on a rainy day, go to and make it run through some mud, then bring it home to my mom and be like "well...we didnt wanna leave her out there..." hahaha... that should work. i mean, if my dad pulled it off good with bruno, then im pretty confident we could. lol. anyways, we're gonna go check it out this weekend after the cookout. i pray they arent ghetto. lol. knowing our luck, they will be. shh... let me not jinx it. haha.. so yeah... this week has been a little bit on the sucky side so far.
my parents had another argument last night. my mom got pissed off cus my dad parked her car out in the street so he could get the z24 out of the driveway and left with her keys. so she sat there and waited for him and right before i knew he was coming home, i came in my room and shut the door cus i hate witnessing their fights. my dad is so immature. he is so mean to my mom. well...actually i should say they are so mean to each other. i mean, i love both of them, yes..i forgive my dad for being an asshole xmas, but its really hard to bond with them when all i hear when im around them is them bitching about each other. i hate it. my mom said to me the other day "melissa i dont want u to hate him just because i do. hes your father, not mine." well..its hard for me to think positive enough to not hate him, when all i hear is how much she hates him and shit. it kinda seems like im almost betraying her when i bond with him. i dunno... its hard to explain it in this thing so dont bother if any of that didnt make any sense.
i had a bunch of other stuff that i wanted to write in here, but uhh...brainfart... haha.. i'll update when i remember them..
peace out cuntfucks =)
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| hmm... |
[10 Jun 2004|03:21am] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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sugarcult {memory} |
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If there is (at least) one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.
==================================================
i wish i could replace "THINKING ABOUT" with "MISSING"
i would put it in here about 5 times.
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[08 Jun 2004|03:21pm] |
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mood |
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 pleased |
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new background/colors!! pooh bear!! this is the same as the wallpaper on my desktop. neato huh?
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| why do guys play so many games? |
[08 Jun 2004|04:16am] |
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music |
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reel big fish {where have you been} |
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im so lost. why is it that when i want a boyfriend, i cant get one, but when i dont want one, or if i start getting close to ONE, like 5 of them come to me? like they just come and go. grr... it gets to be a little annoying. mike sent me a text through aim at like 2:30 yesterday morning saying "i miss you, honestly do. i made a mistake and now i cant do anything about it." wtf? i dont know where that came from, nor how sober he was when he wrote that. lol. its confusing cus sometimes he acts like hes the happiest guy in the world with his girlfriend, but then sometimes he acts like the most miserable person on this earth. i still dont know how to respond to what he said so im like... umm... yeah. i think brandon is mad at me cus i havent talked to him since friday night. its not like im purposely trying to avoid him, i've just been busy for the past few days. i mean, why would i let it go this far(about 3 months), then decide to just cut him off all the sudden for no reason? i guess he hasnt known me long enough to know that im not like that. then the other brandon from school keeps bugging me cus i still havent given him an answer since he started asking me out in october. he says he wants me so bad, but yet hes the biggest dickhead to me all the time. then i was promised that i would hang out with somebody on july 4th, but i still dont know if that will happen. then with the whole taylor thing. i just wish he could out things behind him. i did, he should to...without making me feel guilty from his mistake. wow...this song just randomly played from my playlist and it perfectly describes that situation. haha. anyways, my mom and i had a discussion about school and stuff. if anybody doesnt know already, i was supposed to go to summer school this summer and back next year for another semester cus gay ass booker t. screwed me over with my credits/classes and stuff. well... my mom was like "melissa, im beginning to weigh my options." im like "what do you mean?" and shes like "whether or not i pay for u to go to summer school and u go back next year, or just let u do what meghan did and get your GED this summer after u turn 18 so that way u can start working and taking classes somewhere, but i'll leave it up to u." so ever since we talked about that, ive been getting a headache trying to figure out what im gonna do. should she pay $300 for 1 class in summer school, or just pay 50 so i can take the GED test? and the only reason why i failed my first semester classes this year where because of my absences, not my performance. so then i'll be going back for what? to make up the 13 days i missed? ughh...its very nerve-racking. my dad took me driving again tonight. im so sick of him switching the radio and we end up listening to stupid shit the whole way. i was getting into some trapt and he switches it to some evansence shit. omg.. do u know.. i seriously couldve back-handed him. lol. and why did i even buy the senses fail cd? i only like about 25% of that damn thing...only 2 songs out of 8. i shouldve got the letter kills one, but of course my slow ass couldnt remember it when i went looking for it. okay...time for me to go to bed now.
goodnight/morning fuckers
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[07 Jun 2004|06:35pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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jealousy and drama is a fire that never burns out and get worse over time. i wish i would've learned this 2 years ago...
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most recent entries |
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